Say “No” to Emotional Dependency Cords

After a baby is born she will depend on her mother to meet her physical and emotional needs.  As she reaches toddler-hood it is natural for her to start cutting the emotional dependency cords. This is to show her independence as an individual. We’ve all seen a toddler stamp her foot and say “no”.

All forms of animal life from baby birds to humans find a way for offspring to cut the cords of dependency.

Bird in flight-2


Can you image how restrictive and tangled up everyone would be if none of the emotional dependency cords were ever cut?  It would be a cluttered mess! 

Now think about your materialistic items.  Have you attached emotional dependency cords to many of them?  It’s easy to figure out.  Ask yourself these questions.

  1. Do you hate an item but can’t get rid of it because it was a gift from a family member or close friend? (Guilt)
  2. Are you afraid they will question you about what happen to it when they come over? (Fear)
  3. Are you tired of an item or don’t like it anymore but feel bad about getting rid of it because you paid a lot for it? (Guilt)
  4. Did you inherit an item that you don’t like it or have a place for it, but feel bad because it belonged to someone you loved who is now gone? (Guilt)
  5. Do you keep something just in case you need it “someday” even if you haven’t used the item for several years? (Fear)
  6. Do you hold on to something because you just know it will be worth a fortune someday? (Fear)

It’s time to get rid of these of items because they are holding you prisoner.  They are attached by an emotional dependency cord. You will never have your independence unless you learn to say “no” to the guilt and fear these items are creating in you.

So how do you do this?

As adults sometimes we think too much to a point that we let irrational thinking rule our lives.  Maybe it’s time to get back to a toddler mindset. It’s okay to stamp your foot and tell that item “no”. Cut the cord and declare your independence!

Then use your adult thinking to get rid of the item by giving it away to a charity, selling it, recycling it, or putting it in the trash. You”ll love the freedom these actions give you.

To a lighter load along the way.